Acculturation

I'm going through an acculturation process. Nothing really ground-breaking or unique there, but I figured I'd put it out there, anyway. The supposed four stages of it are: the honeymoon phase (optimism and idealism abound!); the hostility phase (frustration, confusion and discontent abound); the humour phase (reflection of experiences, beginning to relax, and the ability to laugh about the situation and feelings of confusion re-emerge); the home phase (renewed feelings of optimism). I currently yo-yo between variations of stages 2 and 3. Of course, the immigration/visa/employment seeking stuff (which go hand-in-hand-in-hand for me) is the biggest contributor to the feelings of "stage 2" frustration that can wallop me on the head and put me in a sour mood (which Ted can probably attest to. Poor guy.). Probably also has to do with the whole shifting sense of identity thing. 

How I'm experiencing acculturation. Yup. Those are my true, sometimes irrational (re: stage 2), thoughts.

A bit of a digression:

The short of it is, to work here, I need a certain type of visa; not a green card or anything quite as ornerous as that, thank goodness. I even have a couple of options: 1) as a Canadian with a certain level of education in my field, I'm eligible for a TN visa; 2) as someone who entered the country affiliated with my husband who already has a visa that allows him to work (in my case, a J-2 visa), I can apply for authorization to work, go through that process and ultimately get approval (and a document that says so!) to work under the J-2. Just last week, I had my biometrics taken: I was fingerprinted and my picture was taken as part of this process for the J-2 visa. It took all of 5 minutes, but this appointment came after weeks of waiting. And at the end of that appointment, ZERO information was given to me until I turned back and asked what was next. At which point I was told to wait for something in the mail that will either be a document that says I'm fine to work (or further steps I may need to take.). My visa process is actually easy and yet there are still hoops to jump through, the paperwork to wade through and fill out, and a lack of communication -- I can't even imagine what the process must be like for people applying to immigrate or applying for asylum or any number of more difficult applications.

                         
I expected this acculturation experience somewhat and therefore we do what we can to make the ongoing transition smoother: we continue to explore the city, we have a routine going, and like a diligent person who is living in any new country or city, I try to keep up with current events (and then relay the headlines to Ted like some sort of personal news ticker). I start my mornings by watching the local and national news while having coffee...which inevitably leads to me getting all worked up over topics like the Affordable Care Act, the Tea Partiers (and finding out that Ted Cruz was born in Canada), the ongoing gun control debate...

I'm not a complete stranger to the stages of acculturation. I went through a version of this when I did my internship in Masaka Town, Uganda, complete with a meltdown that consisted of tears and feelings of anxiety about what I had gotten myself into and anxiety over seemingly simple things such as walking around town by myself during the first few weeks that I was there. This eventually mellowed into feelings of being comfortable, feeling connected to my host family, becoming more optimistic, happy, and loving what I was doing. But that process made sense. For me, Uganda really was an unknown country and Masaka Town was very different from Vancouver, BC. I guess I sometimes give myself a hard time about going through this process because despite being able to rationalize it and despite expecting it, I'm still somewhat surprised by how marked my feelings can be -- and this is due to my preconceived notions. I mean, unlike Uganda, the U.S. isn't exactly completely unknown to me - it's part of the same continent, there are some historic cultural ties due to a shared colonial history, both countries have English as their dominant language, etc., etc. The U.S., to my mind, has always been our neighbour to the south with the permeable (to Canadians) border, the accessible cross-border shopping, the hockey teams we love to hate, and the attitudes we sometimes like to mock (see previous paragraph). Obviously, there is more to this major American city and my thoughts and feelings about living here are constantly evolving.

Well, I tell myself that surprised or not, it's happening. I like to think that I've been pretty positive overall (notwithstanding the incidents where I've taken my frustrations out on Ted. Ha!). Nothing to do but hang on for the ride while drawing from my upbringing of good ol' fashioned Chinese stoicism and at the same time, taking the time to laugh at myself. Or, in my particular case (and as my sister put it), I just need to remember to: