Super happy fun times and a bit of Americana

One weekend late in November, a really very good and fantastic friend named Nikki came to Boston for a 19 hour visit (yes, you read that correctly).

The friends, along with Nikki's luggage, visited Quincy Market and Fanueil Hall where there were a gajillion people present for the lighting of Boston's giant Christmas tree 

They met new characters and ate delicious Italian food in the North End, including cannolis from Mike's Pastry.

 They had a couple of drinks at the Bull and Finch and pretended everyone knew their names (daaah, da, da, da!).

 The next day, after some frantic cabbing and amusing misreading of signs and dates, they took a tour of Fenway Park.

During the tour, they found themselves in the media room...

                                  
   
... And, despite it being a very cold and blustery day, on top of the "Green Monster".

 

Even the non-baseball fan of the trio (that would be me) found the tour super fascinating and learned a lot of the rich history of Fenway Park and of Boston.

The tour, and Nikki's visit, ended with some fun cheesy photo ops, Nikki being hit on by a sweet elderly man, and a chance to try one's pitching arm.

Didn't miss his calling...

  

The end.

Acculturation

I'm going through an acculturation process. Nothing really ground-breaking or unique there, but I figured I'd put it out there, anyway. The supposed four stages of it are: the honeymoon phase (optimism and idealism abound!); the hostility phase (frustration, confusion and discontent abound); the humour phase (reflection of experiences, beginning to relax, and the ability to laugh about the situation and feelings of confusion re-emerge); the home phase (renewed feelings of optimism). I currently yo-yo between variations of stages 2 and 3. Of course, the immigration/visa/employment seeking stuff (which go hand-in-hand-in-hand for me) is the biggest contributor to the feelings of "stage 2" frustration that can wallop me on the head and put me in a sour mood (which Ted can probably attest to. Poor guy.). Probably also has to do with the whole shifting sense of identity thing. 

How I'm experiencing acculturation. Yup. Those are my true, sometimes irrational (re: stage 2), thoughts.

A bit of a digression:

The short of it is, to work here, I need a certain type of visa; not a green card or anything quite as ornerous as that, thank goodness. I even have a couple of options: 1) as a Canadian with a certain level of education in my field, I'm eligible for a TN visa; 2) as someone who entered the country affiliated with my husband who already has a visa that allows him to work (in my case, a J-2 visa), I can apply for authorization to work, go through that process and ultimately get approval (and a document that says so!) to work under the J-2. Just last week, I had my biometrics taken: I was fingerprinted and my picture was taken as part of this process for the J-2 visa. It took all of 5 minutes, but this appointment came after weeks of waiting. And at the end of that appointment, ZERO information was given to me until I turned back and asked what was next. At which point I was told to wait for something in the mail that will either be a document that says I'm fine to work (or further steps I may need to take.). My visa process is actually easy and yet there are still hoops to jump through, the paperwork to wade through and fill out, and a lack of communication -- I can't even imagine what the process must be like for people applying to immigrate or applying for asylum or any number of more difficult applications.

                         
I expected this acculturation experience somewhat and therefore we do what we can to make the ongoing transition smoother: we continue to explore the city, we have a routine going, and like a diligent person who is living in any new country or city, I try to keep up with current events (and then relay the headlines to Ted like some sort of personal news ticker). I start my mornings by watching the local and national news while having coffee...which inevitably leads to me getting all worked up over topics like the Affordable Care Act, the Tea Partiers (and finding out that Ted Cruz was born in Canada), the ongoing gun control debate...

I'm not a complete stranger to the stages of acculturation. I went through a version of this when I did my internship in Masaka Town, Uganda, complete with a meltdown that consisted of tears and feelings of anxiety about what I had gotten myself into and anxiety over seemingly simple things such as walking around town by myself during the first few weeks that I was there. This eventually mellowed into feelings of being comfortable, feeling connected to my host family, becoming more optimistic, happy, and loving what I was doing. But that process made sense. For me, Uganda really was an unknown country and Masaka Town was very different from Vancouver, BC. I guess I sometimes give myself a hard time about going through this process because despite being able to rationalize it and despite expecting it, I'm still somewhat surprised by how marked my feelings can be -- and this is due to my preconceived notions. I mean, unlike Uganda, the U.S. isn't exactly completely unknown to me - it's part of the same continent, there are some historic cultural ties due to a shared colonial history, both countries have English as their dominant language, etc., etc. The U.S., to my mind, has always been our neighbour to the south with the permeable (to Canadians) border, the accessible cross-border shopping, the hockey teams we love to hate, and the attitudes we sometimes like to mock (see previous paragraph). Obviously, there is more to this major American city and my thoughts and feelings about living here are constantly evolving.

Well, I tell myself that surprised or not, it's happening. I like to think that I've been pretty positive overall (notwithstanding the incidents where I've taken my frustrations out on Ted. Ha!). Nothing to do but hang on for the ride while drawing from my upbringing of good ol' fashioned Chinese stoicism and at the same time, taking the time to laugh at myself. Or, in my particular case (and as my sister put it), I just need to remember to:

Practically Locals!!

I can hardly believe it's been 6 weeks since we arrived in Boston, Massachusetts and 5 since moving into our first apartment in Cambridge. We're just starting to feel as if we live here now, rather than having a lovely extended vacation. It's early days yet, but we've even settled into a daily routine of sorts: Ted does his science thing on campus at M.I.T. and I do my employment-seeking, work visa sorting thing (more on that at a later date....). On the weekends, we go forth and explore different neighbourhoods around Boston and Cambridge. We even stumbled upon a Honk! festival:
















My weekdays include the employment-seeking, work visa sorting thing (again, more on that at a later date...) as well as my own exploration of our neighbourhood. This means I've made use of the post office, found my neighbourhood yarn store, a crafts store, the park, and decided on my favourite coffee shop. Nerd that I am, my happiest "local" moment was when I got my library card:

Ta-da!

Main entrance to the Public Library

An older wing of the library
-- which ironically houses the computer lab

Every now and then, we like to obnoxiously proclaim that "we're practically locals!!!". This means that in addition to having an apartment, a bank account, a credit card, real furniture, and the various insurances we need, we also have a Charlie card (transit card), a CVS card (similar to a Shoppers Drug Mart card), have found our neighbourhood diner, a few pubs/watering holes, sushi place (yes! it's true!), grocery store, wine store, pharmacy, hardware store, and waffle place -- places to which locals, not just tourists, go. Hooray! 

So, without further delay, I present you with pictorial documentation of our lives as new Cantabrigians (<-- I'm even learning new words!):

Cambridge City Hall

Cambridge Rindge and Latin School -- Matt Damon and Ben Affleck's former school

Pretty street nearby

Joan Lorentz Park

Pictures along our street

Perks of East Coast Living

One lovely weekend in October, we decided to take advantage of the fact that out on the East Coast, many major cities are so well-connected for relatively inexpensive prices. So, after hopping onto a BoltBus, we were in New York City 4.5 hours later where we met up with friends Jacquie and Regie who were vacationing there for a few days. Much eating, sight-seeing, walking, and shopping ensued!

On the first night, we watched an amazing performance of Stomp at the Orpheum Theatre.

The next morning, after a delicious brunch at Tartine, we walked to Washington Square Park for a gander.

Then, we went for a stroll across the Brooklyn Bridge (say "Cheese", Jacquie!).

In Brooklyn, we wandered over to the Brooklyn Ice Cream Factory and had ice creams by the water before taking the water taxi to Midtown...

... where we went up to the 'Top of the Rock' and looked at some quintessential landmarks such as the Empire State Building...

... and Central Park (so huge!).

That night, we went for dinner at the National  (awesome suggestion, Seb!) and took in the sights of New York at night (hello, pretty Chrysler Building).

We made a stop at Momofuku Milk Bar for some deliciousness in the form of crack pies, cookies, and coffees.

On our last morning, we walked a portion of the High Line and took in the sunny (but cool) weather...

... and pretty brick architecture.

We ended our little getaway to New York and time with Jacquie and Regie with a visit to Chelsea Market where we 'oohed' and 'aahed' over the assortment of spices, teas, meats, bakeries and bread products, jewelry and clothes. And for Ted, no visit to New York is complete without a meal at Shake Shack so of course, we ate there before parting ways - Ted and I boarding a bus to Boston, and (later that night) Jacquie and Regie boarding a plane to Vancouver.

Whirlwind Tour

I haven't been awesome at showcasing this new city I've moved to yet but a visit from my sister provided the nudge to rectify that! Amy was in town for a few days last week for a two-day workshop. She came for an extra day so in addition to spending three evenings together, we were able to spend an entire day together. It was the perfect chance for me to explore the city some more in ways that didn't include focussing on searching for necessary household items or furniture and we ended up having an amazing time together that included shopping, a bit of sight-seeing, a performance of the Boston Symphony Orchestra (BSO) and three seafood-filled dinners!

My day with Amy started with brunch at Max Brenner, a fun chocolate-lovers haven, where we had French toast and Belgian waffles. Everything was served with sides of chocolate sauces to drizzle on top of everything. The highlight was the hot chocolate and the mocha which Amy described as "heaven in a mug".

                                   
 

                                                   

Amy enjoying a Mexican Chilli Hot Chocolate

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                     



This was followed by shopping and browsing along Newbury Street, followed by a stroll through Public Garden and Boston Common. And what trip to Boston is complete without a stop at the Cheers Bar (or rather, the Bull and Finch, the bar that the TV show Cheers was fashioned after)?

Boston Common

Public Garden

Where everyone knows your name...

On Amy`s last night, we went to a performance of the BSO. It was pretty exciting as it has been a goal of mine since childhood to listen to them live. They certainly did not disappoint with a program consisting of Mendelssohn, Ives, Franck and a composition by the conductor himself (Ades)! The program`s overall story was of an orchestral journey through time.

Let`s not forget the dinners!!!

Raw shellfish platter! YUM!

On the first night, we went to Island Creek Oyster Bar and partook in the raw shellfish platter for four. This was an amazing meal and Amy, Ted, and I definitely gorged ourselves on mussels, clams, shrimp, fluke, and lobster.

Enjoying beer, natch.

Amy`s scallop dinner

                                     

Night two found us at Atlantic Fish Co., 

another place with really good seafood and where we each ordered our own meal (I had the lobster ravioli: rich, creamy and delicious). While a tad more touristy than the night before, it was still a wonderful dining experience and the food was fresh.

And on the third night, since we were short on time and needed to be at the Boston Symphony Hall at a particular time, we went to the food court and had Boston Chowda co. clam chowders. Even their food court clam chowders are yummy here.








Thus endeth a fantastic visit with my sister and a great few days of just enjoying the city.

Identity

I'm going to start with this: I am a very fortunate and privileged person. I won't even begin to list the ways which exemplifies the truth of this statement; the list would be crazily, ridiculously long. However, borne of this fortune and privilege is the ability to consciously formulate an identity and think about what that means to me and its impacts on how I see myself and subsequently how I project myself to the world.

Ted and I have now been in Boston for a solid 2 weeks. In that time, we've found an apartment in Cambridge, opened a bank account, applied for credit cards, attempted to apply for social security numbers (we can't right now because the American government has been shutdown for a week and the two parties are at a stalemate), and started to shop for furniture and supplies and all those good household items. So far it's been a lot of fun and a good exercise in budgeting as well as 'dreaming big and whittling down'. :) There were a few moments when Ted and I felt pretty certain we heard our parents' voices coming out of our own mouths. The horror. :)

But, I digress. During the entering of the U.S. and the renting of the apartment and the signing of the lease and the opening of the bank account and the application for the credit card, I was reminded over and over of our situation. Ted was being "sponsored" into the U.S. through his work, and by extension, so was I. Thus, I am currently an extension of Ted. Even my entry visa puts me as "Spouse". Ted is the primary signatory on most things as he has the entry visa that confirms he is employed and will therefore have an income. Before we came to Massachusets, I willingly decided to change my last name and changed my passport accordingly. I was now Alexandra D., no longer Alexandra T. It was sort of strange at the time but not a big deal. Had we remained in Vancouver, I think I would have still had a solid sense of who this Alexandra D. person was: a young, hard-working CP social worker with many interests (chief among them: food and wine), financially independent, a home-owner, and newly a wife. I had a healthy and active social life that allowed me in-person, face-to-face access to a solid network of family and friends who are similar and therefore confirmed my sense of who I was. I might have had an easier time figuring out who Alexandra D. is since many other aspects of my life would have remained recognizable. Now, having moved to a city on the opposite coast with a different surname and where I'm noted as technically being a dependent and where we know only a handful of people, my sense of who Alexandra D. is has started to become something more difficult to grasp, which was inevitable, I suppose. The neat thing is that this is a great opportunity to try something quite different from what I was doing before. The truth is, it's sometimes an unnerving feeling and process and I think it's ok to acknowledge that. I'm young and at a new stage in my life. These shifts in my identity were going to happen regardless, but with so many changes happening all at once, I sometimes get overwhelmed.

This post isn't a complaint and I hope it won't be read as such. I make my choices willingly, happily and with great excitement of the possibilities ahead and am also secure in the knowledge that I am in a position to be able to make these choices. But I share the process I'm going through because I also think it can be a normal part of all this.

How many Canadian references can you spot?

So for now, as I take the time to explore my neighbourhood,
I know that part of what makes up who I am is "Canadian".

Best. Snuggie. Ever!

And maybe on some evenings, Batman --because who wouldn't want a chance to be the greatest superhero ever?

Life is Happening!

2013 has been a very busy year so far. We started in Vancouver. And now we're in Boston. New city, new try at the blog.

The short version of the story is: we got engaged, Ted got a post-doc position at M.I.T., we got married a few months later, slept on an air mattress for a few weeks while we packed up our stuff, and got on a plane for Boston a month after that.

We've been in Boston for 4 full days at this point, living out of our suitcases in a hotel, and spending our days looking for a place to live. It's both extremely stressful and extremely liberating having so much up in the air from where we'll be living to whether/where I may find work to how long we'll actually be here for, plus all the other issues in between. The answers to all of those question? No clue, yet.

We'll sort it out in time. In the meantime, Ted and I will just continue vacillating between being super excited with everything that is happening (and so quickly) and being extremely stressed out with everything that is happening (and so quickly).

"Life is a journey, not a destination." I'll drink to that, Ralph Waldo Emerson!